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Criminal mastery has long been a common theme on the silver screen, from The Italian Job and The Sting to Goodfellas and Snatch.

Even Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves made waves as the presidential pair of surf-loving swindlers in Point Break.

However, despite what Hollywood’s best efforts may have you believe, not all law-breakers boast the glamorised criminal intellect of Keyser Soze in real-life.

In fact, in the cold light of day, many criminals wind up looking far less like The Joker and far more like a bunch of clowns.

Witness the witless in action as we shine a searchlight on the hapless and the hopeless in this shameful rundown of stupid criminals.

Ocean’s 11 these are not…

 

stupid criminals

 

Stupid Criminals UK

The title of “World’s Dumbest Criminal” has been passed around more times than a herbal remedy in Snoop Dogg’s dressing room.

However, you don’t need to look far to find examples of illegal idiocy. In fact, there are plenty of examples within our very shores.

 

Phoning It In

Losing your mobile phone can be an annoying and, at times, distressing occurrence… especially if you do so while committing a house robbery.

One careless criminal did just that, leaving his mobile phone at the scene of the crime, complete with selfies as evidence.

Despite claiming his phone had been stolen when questioned, the presence of stolen goods in the suspect’s home proved otherwise.

Unfortunately for the 44-year-old thief, the phone wasn’t the only thing that was charged. He was later sentence to 160 hours of community service.

 

Every Little Helps

Anyone with an ounce of common sense will be well aware of the importance of a clean social media account.

Unfortunately, common sense isn’t always that common. Case in point: this 32-year-old man from Norfolk.

The sloppy criminal posted a Facebook update on his profile that simply read “Doing. Tesco. Over” with an accompanying picture of himself brandishing a blade.

Apparently possessing an unhealthy dislike for his local Tesco store, the careless criminal planned to raid the supermarket that evening.

However, the post gave the police a welcome heads up, allowing them to intercept the man in a supermarket sweep of their own just 15 minutes later.

The man was sentenced to four years in prison and presumably had his Club Card revoked for life.

 

Love at First Swipe

A thirsty Scottish shoplifter became a victim of love after opportunistically swiping a bottle of vodka from an off-license.

However, it wasn’t some quick-witted local hero that apprehended the Smirnoff-swiping swindler but something far more simple.

Prior to pocketing the bottle, the shoplifter had incredibly left his name and number with the cashier after asking her out on a date.

Following the monumental oversight, the police quite literally had his number and the careless culprit had earned himself a date with the law.

 

A Safe Bet

A bank manager with a gambling habit seems like the perfect storm for bad news. Unsurprisingly, that storm soon came to pass and didn’t go by unnoticed.

Having already pilfered £3m from private investors through a bogus investment scheme, the 58-year-old Halifax executive from South Wales went a step too far when he began dipping his fingers in the till or, more specifically, the safe.

Bringing his total swag to an even £10m, the Swansea man stole £7m from the bank’s safe, incredibly leaving behind a signed IOU in its place.

The outlandish stunt was inevitably discovered by stunned auditor’s and the ludicrous loan was repaid in the form of a 12-year jail sentence.

 

Goldilocked Up

A Lancashire couple were left stunned when they returned home from holiday to find an unexpected guest in their home – a sleeping burglar.

The retired pair from Leeds found the Polish thief asleep in their bed, presumably replenishing his energy after a tiring day on the rob.

Investigators found that the sleepy bandit had made himself quite at home, even washing his underwear and cooking during his stay.

The intruder even attempted to clean up after himself by doing the dishes. Unfortunately for him, those domestic duties weren’t enough to save him from the law.

 

Home Security with IDS

While the above examples of criminal idiocy may be astonishing in their stupidity, that’s not to say you should let your guard down and leave your home unprotected.

At IDS Security, we offer a wide variety of home security solutions to keep your property and its inhabitants safe.

From CCTV cameras to burglar alarms and everything in between, we can help you make your home as safe as houses.

 

For more information on home security solutions from IDS Security, why not drop us a line today? Call now on 029 20 753 251 or get in touch online by clicking the button below.

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We are excited to announce that we have recently attained Cyber Essentials certification, this blog tells you a little bit about what that means and how it benefits you, our customers.

What does it mean to be Cyber Essentials certified?

Cyber Essentials is a government supported scheme that helps businesses to protect their organisations from cyber-attacks including hacking, phishing and password guessing across all types of devices

We have attained this certification to instil confidence in our new and existing customers that we’re taking the most appropriate measures to secure their personal data. We’re now committed to continually improving our cyber security measures to ensure the highest level of cyber-security at all times.

To find out more about Cyber Essentials, head to their website:

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